New Feature!

In honor of one of the best sites on the Intrawebs, Fail Blog, i am introducing another new feature on this site called 'You Have Failed At Life'. It will be dedicated to the stupid and moronic in sports, and will join such regular* features as Where You Came From and Weekly Press Conferences. My first dedication will be up shortly, but for now enjoy a couple examples from the Fail Blog website of why i love it so...






* Regular is used loosely...

Where You Came From

Once again, my 'weekly' features are a tad less than weekly, but whatever. I've been a busy man (sort of). Here's my favorite, in which i chronicle the search terms that brought you people here. You people appear to be a messed up group...

Countries visiting: The UK, India, Germany, and an undefined Europe address. India's a new one, though my international audience appears to be dwindling...

On to the Search Terms. Again, these are the terms people searched for that brought them to my site. They are unedited, and as such have many spelling and grammatical errors. My commentary is in parentheses...

1) local phoenix sports blog (that makes sense)
2) iowa hawkeye basketball (interest is gearing up already!)
3) dennis green bad day (just one?)
4) nba referee scandal fix (This one is still lingering...)
5) NBA post game press conference
6) NBA post game press conference game 4
7) Dennis Green, a great judge of talent, nothing more... (That's a new one)
8) church of purple jesus (Oh yeah!)
9) iowa Justin Johnson profile (see? It's only June!)
10) david stern done a lot for the NBA (yes, but what have you done for me lately?)
11) "a day in the life" of coach dennis green (I bet it involves fishing...)
12) big brother 9 dennis green shorts (I have no idea.)
13) kent state black college girls big booty (Umm, i'm just gonna stay away from that one...)
14) Dennis Green post game conference (2)
15) phoenix sports
16) Dennis Green
17) bob bradley postgame press conference
18) marwan williams (Still!)
19) dennis greene news conference (Almost spelled the name right...)
20) valleysports radio.com (near as i can tell some sort of D.C.-area sports site...)
21) mariners dennis green (No, i don't think Denny wants to coach the Mariners)
22) " NFL CBA" (Timely)

So there you go. Thanks for coming, leave some comments, tell some friends. Late

Open Tryouts

Ever wanted to play kicker for a professional football team? Well, neither have I, but just in case you ever wondered how you would go about doing that, it's apparently way easier than one would think. All you have to do is show up at the game as a spectator.

The Chicago Rush, of the AFL, had their only kicker on the roster, one Paul Edinger (last heard from in 2005 as a kicker with the Vikings!) managed to tweak his groin just prior to gametime. Apparently one of their players knew a Joe O'Donnell was attending and had some kicking experience (coincidentally his 'experience' was a tryout with the Bears in 2004 against Edinger).

O'Donnell was summoned to the Rush locker room, given an impromptu tryout, then placed in a uniform and trotted onto the field, where he went on to convert 5 of 7 field goals for the game.

I, for one, am going to start attending more AFL games...

Weekly Press Conference

Anytime a coach or manager goes off the deep end, it's pretty much a guarantee that it will show up on my site. This is John McLaren of the Seattle Mariners, who have the worst record in baseball and are all around awful...

US vs. England

For those of you not paying attention (see: All of you), tomorrow is the first of three high-profile friendlies the US Men's Soccer team is playing against some stiff competition. At 3pm Eastern tomorrow, the US will face off against an England squad playing at home in the confines of (New) Wembley Stadium in London. While this match is technically a friendly and does not count for anything, that does not mean there is nothing on the line in this game.

For one, assuming Landon Donovan makes an appearance in this game (He will start, trust me), it will be his 100th cap for the Senior team. Considering he is still only 26 years old, this is quite an achievement and it is all but certain he will eventually pass Cobi Jones' all time mark of 164 caps. For a figure as polarizing as LanDo has been, along with the career goal scoring mark he already holds it is another way to cement whatever legacy he will end up having (Great story here).

Secondly, this match, as well as the next two against Spain and Argentina, serve as tune-ups for the important matches starting next month: World Cup Qualifying. While most everyone expects the US to more or less cruise through at least the first round of qualifying, they still have a number of roster issues that need to be hammered out soon, mainly those at the attacking positions. These games should help them figure out combinations and positions that work best for the options they have.

Then again, speaking of their attacking options, it makes it difficult when you leave the one player with the most potential off your roster entirely, one Jozy Altidore. His absence from the roster for these three games is a head-scratched at best, a complete abomination at most. Instead we are left to examine forwards such as 31-year old Josh Wolff, who was just cut from a second-tier Bundesliga team, Nate Jaqua, who has only two caps to his name, and Freddy Adu, who has yet to really acquit himself with the Senior Team. For now it will likely be LanDo and Clint Dempsey up top, though i still like LanDo as an attacking Mid and Dempsey as a right winger better, so who knows.

The return of The Beazz! Run DMB, or DaMarcus Beasley, is back in action. After a knee injury and surgery last fall, Run DMB returned to his club last week and scored a goal in a 3-2 win, and will return to the US team on this tour. With the options we have trotted out there in his absence, i know i am not the only one who will be relieved to see the fastest man on a pitch back wearing the #17.

And finally, we have the whole US-England dynamic. While not a rivalry anywhere near as intense as US-Mexico, a Yanks-Brits rivalry has great potential, especially with LanDo and Becks both playing together in LA for the Galaxy. One of England's greatest embarrassments was a 1-0 loss to the US in the 1950 World Cup, a result which was so inconceivable at the time that the papers in England printed the score as 10-1 England. With the US's recent success on the road and in Europe, England may not have as big as an advantage as they think playing in London.

So to recap, the game is tomorrow on ESPN Classic at noon 3pm Eastern, or around noon AZ time. Tune in or record it, it should be a good one. I'll have a recap and a preview for the Spain game up before that one as well. Go support the soccer folks!

(Prediction: 2-1 England, with the US missing a couple of good chances at a tie)

NFL CBA 2

One more issue i failed to mention yesterday regarding the NFL CBA and the on-going situation. One issue of the CBA, which i actually think will be easy to resolve by both the Owners and the NFLPA, is a rookie salary structure.

The pay structure for rookies has become ridiculous, culminating in this year's #3 pick Matt Ryan signing a 6-year, $72 Million dollar deal this week. This guy hasn't thrown a pass yet in the NFL, or even participated in Training Camp. Yet he's getting $72 Million, of which more than $34 Million of it is guaranteed!?

I don't know about you, but if i was a veteran with 7 or 8 years experience, and some rookie is coming in getting that kind of money... Well, i'd be pretty upset.

What the NFL needs is what the NBA has, a rookie salary structure. Whatever pick you're taken at determines how much money you make, and it's not outrageous money. It gives the young guys an incentive to spend a few years playing hard and improving, as they typically get their big payday on their second contract, usually after three years in the League.

However, like i said, i don't think this will be much of an issue to hammer out. The Owners will want it in order to protect against draft busts and paying tons of money, and the NFLPA will want it because the money not going to the rookies will be going to the older players in forms of higher Veteran Minimum salaries and the like.

Anyway, this CBA thing should be interesting, and i'll update as needed right here...

NFL CBA

That's Collective Bargaining Agreement (CBA) for those of you who don't know. And it's in the news today because at the NFL Owners Meetings the owners voted 32-0 to end the NFL's CBA after the 2010 season. What does this mean for the NFL and your favorite team?

Well, it depends who you talk to. First, let me explain that i don't believe the Owners or the NFL Players Association (NFLPA) will allow this to expire before getting a new deal in place. That said, it brings up some interesting scenarios that could play out.

This upcoming season, 2008, and next season, 2009, will remain the same. In 2010, if there is indeed no new CBA in place, the season will have no salary cap. Which means watch out for big market teams, such as Dallas, New England, and New York. Gene Upshaw, the man in charge of the NFLPA, has claimed that if there is ever an uncapped season, the players will never again go back to a salary cap.

(On a side note, this vastly affects my favorite team, the Minnesota Vikings, in a number of reasons. First off, they have the best cap man in the league in Rob Brzezinski. They consistently have the most money to spend in the offseason the last few years, which has resulted in their ability to bring in big-time free agents such as Jared Allen. With no cap, Minnesota is considered to be a small-market franchise, and as a result will not have the money to contend with the aforementioned big-market teams.

The Vikings have a terrible stadium situation at the moment, to the point where they are making almost zero money from the Metrodome. After repeated attempts to get a new stadium financed by the people in the state of Minnesota have failed, it appears to be a stale-mate. In a League with no cap, where money is everything, the Vikings will flounder, paving the way for them to look at a move to Los Angeles. They would have a state of the art stadium, plus the luxury of the second largest market in the League with no other NFL team there. Needless to say, i'm a bit apprehensive about this CBA situation.)

But i digress. Looking at the overall impact, after a 2010 season with no salary cap, there is a very high chance that in 2011 the players would strike. I don't know about you, but that would be very, very bad, as the NFL is a) the most popular League in the US, b) The best-run League in the US, and c) My favorite League to watch.

The silver lining in all of this is that, as i stated above, i think it is unlikely the situation ever gets that far. The Owners and the NFLPA have two years to get a new cap in place, where i think there will only be two main sticking points (Revenue sharing between Owners and how big a chunk of the money the Players get. Currently it's more than 50%). That said, it's a situation all NFL fans should be keeping an eye on in the next two years.